What if?.

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It’s back again.

I have felt it looming around in the past few weeks. I’ve felt the weight of it, it sits on my chest on a morning when my alarm goes off, sometimes it lets me doze back off, sometimes it will keep me awake, just to make me watch the clock “tick tock”, past the time I could have gone to the gym…. “tick tock”… past the time I could have had to make myself a healthy breakfast, “tick tock”, past the time where I could have had time to put my make up on…it stays there , just the right amount of time, just long enough to make sure that when I finally get out of bed I am racked with guilt, self loathing and generally feeling like shit. Then comes the sigh, the sigh that signifies the next phase, the release of the invisible asshole that has been sitting on my chest, the sigh that means I can no longer put off the inevitable, I need to get out of this bed.

Another day in Paradise.Read More »

Are you tough enough?

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It has just been Mental Health Awareness week and I have seen lately a lot of discussion flying around particularly on Twitter to do with mental toughness and mental resilience, largely fuelled by Piers Morgan and his incessant need to self promote by being deliberately controversial about things he doesn’t really care about. Sometimes I agree with him, sometimes I don’t, on this current issue,  I do see where he is coming from in suggesting that mental resilience should be taught in schools, and I do believe teaching any positive life skill to children can only be a good thing, however it could also reinforce the stereotype that if you are struggling with mental illness then that means you must be weak, that you must be a little bit less than, and as we all know, or should do, that is simply not the case.Read More »

Whats the damage?

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Having the luxury of being able to get off the hamster wheel lately and spend some time to let my mind relax and reflect in peace. My thought pattern I am pleased to say has started to swing in the right direction and a lot of my thoughts have been positive around how I am going to achieve my goals, what direction I should now being going in, and rather than looking back, and going back to a career I know I can make money in but will ultimately make me utterly miserable, I am taking this opportunity to embark on a change of direction.

Trying to start again at 42 years old and venture into an area that I have no experience or qualifications in isn’t going to be easy but at this point I have nothing to lose so I figure it’s the perfect time to try. I also need to eradicate some of the regrets I have about the personal choices that I have made over the years which have ended with me being in the situation I am in now.  If I had kept control of my own life rather than giving over that control to someone else, I would have never ended up in the position I find myself in now and there has to be some lessons in that. I don’t want to live my life with any regrets and up-until three years ago I didn’t have any. I now have many, and one of my main aims is to turn this situation around in to such a life changing positive that the regrets I have are drowned by my success and I now feel more than ever , determined to make that happen.

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Truth

The-truth-is-rarely-pure-and-never-simple.

I have been thinking a lot lately about truth. As human beings we seem to at some point or another in our lives be on a quest for the truth,  and most of us at some point will be faced with the choice of believing someone or not, or maybe we will find ourselves on the other side of the coin where we are in a situation where we have to decide, do we tell the truth? or would it be better to lie?, and if it would be better, better for who?.Read More »

7 Days of Positivity.

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So I am 7 days in to my 30 Days of Positivity and I just thought I would write a little update on how I am finding things.

As with any new challenge that you embark on , in the early days you are brimming with energy, you have lots of ideas, and its all very exciting. The path you want to follow is as clear as day and you are striding forth with gusto ready to make things happen.Read More »

When life gives you Lemons

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……its ok to feel like you want to throw them at someone ….

The usual ending to this as we all know is ‘make lemonade’, I looked up the phrase out of curiosity and courtesy of our friends at Wikipedia is said to be this…

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is a proverbial phrase, used to encourage optimism and a positive can-do attitude in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons suggest sourness or difficulty in life, just like lemonade.

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