It is upon us.
The insurmountable pressure to be happy about everything, normal won’t do, it has to be absolute unadulterated enthusiasm about all things ‘Christmassy’ and that can range from who does the best mince pies to this year’s John Lewis ad. When that first advent calendar door opens… BOOM. You better have a smile on your face for the next 25 days, attend everything your invited to, wear a Christmas jumper to work, join in Secret Santa, embarrass yourself at the Christmas party, OR ELSE!
Let the Festive Fakery begin….
Having the luxury of being able to get off the hamster wheel lately and spend some time to let my mind relax and reflect in peace. My thought pattern I am pleased to say has started to swing in the right direction and a lot of my thoughts have been positive around how I am going to achieve my goals, what direction I should now being going in, and rather than looking back, and going back to a career I know I can make money in but will ultimately make me utterly miserable, I am taking this opportunity to embark on a change of direction.
Trying to start again at 42 years old and venture into an area that I have no experience or qualifications in isn’t going to be easy but at this point I have nothing to lose so I figure it’s the perfect time to try. I also need to eradicate some of the regrets I have about the personal choices that I have made over the years which have ended with me being in the situation I am in now. If I had kept control of my own life rather than giving over that control to someone else, I would have never ended up in the position I find myself in now and there has to be some lessons in that. I don’t want to live my life with any regrets and up-until three years ago I didn’t have any. I now have many, and one of my main aims is to turn this situation around in to such a life changing positive that the regrets I have are drowned by my success and I now feel more than ever , determined to make that happen.
I love you.
Recently a male friend of mine told me that he loved me, he has said it now on more than one occasion. I reacted by not responding and then ultimately gave him a long lesson in why he shouldn’t be so free and easy in using those words, that it was ‘dangerous territory’ and would only ‘end in tears’, and if he wasn’t going to do anything about it then he shouldn’t say it.Read More »
“You are selfish. You are inconsiderate. You are ungrateful. You are a user. You are a liar. You have no friends. You are nothing. You’ve gone mad. You have issues. You are a cheat”…….
“I love you”……
This particular post has taken me a longer time to write than anticipated. That is because I am having to draw on some very personal experiences , and as I have mentioned before I am extremely protective of my private life and my privacy, so this is a real challenge for me and it means I am very much out of my comfort zone. I also want to do this in as much of a respectful way as I can, there is a very fine line between blurting out your story and becoming gossip fodder, and writing about experiences with the hope of helping not only yourself come to terms with things, but also hoping you will strike a chord in a positive way with others to help them turn around a situation they may be faced with. My aim is for the latter.Read More »