Self love is so important and this follows on nicely from my last post, to be able to truly love others and live well , you must first truly love yourself. To be able to manage relationships without hurting other people you need to ensure you take care of your own wellbeing.
Can you honestly say that you are comfortable with the way you show your love to people?. Do you have trouble believing someone when they tell you that they love you?. How do you show your love?. Are you scared of love?. What do you love about yourself?.
I am sure at some time in our lives we have all asked ourselves these questions , the questions don’t change, but the answers probably will depending on where we find ourselves in life.
Self love doesn’t just happen automatically for everyone. It can take time to develop, it will probably develop as you come across situations in your life that challenge you, when you find yourself starting to look for more peaceful resolutions and feeling calmer and more content with the decisions you are making , your self love and respect for yourself will inevitably increase.
Unfortunately as we get older we have more baggage, and as a result may be lacking in self love due to the many challenges and set backs we have had to face, alternatively it could be that we are just too busy ‘doing’ life that it is not something we even think about until it starts to impact negatively on our relationships or our ability to deal with situations effectively.
We are responsible for our own self love and we are responsible for making sure that we are in the best place we can be when embarking on relationships with others. This could be romantic or platonic , both comes with a level of responsibility to the other person.
When you immerse yourself in someone else’s life , and more importantly in someone else family. With that comes a great deal of responsibility and it shouldn’t be a decision that comes lightly. I am not talking about deciding whether or not to go out for dinner one in a while or attend a family party. I am talking about when you FULLY immerse yourself and play an active role in pursuing relationships not only with the adults in the family , with children as well. Having to answer questions from the most delicate little people in your life about why an adult who they loved as part of the family disappeared overnight and why they wont be back again is heartbreaking. I am not saying that it will be intentional, but I am saying it is a very real consequence of not taking responsibility in ensuring you are fully emotionally equipped to be in the position you put yourself in.
So, in closing, before you go searching for the best ‘instagrammable’ Valentines present you can find.. and before re-mortgaging your house to impress the neighbours by having the largest bunch of flowers delivered , or before picking your restaurant based on the number of likes you think you will get when you do your ‘check in’ …. think about the reasons why you may be doing what your doing , does it come from a place of truly wanting to show the other person how much you care for them? or does it come from a place of deep insecurity within yourself and a lack of confidence in knowing how to express love beyond the superficial?.
If it is the latter. Work on it. You owe it to yourself the most.
Thanks for reading. xxx